What will this look like

An actual place where something can merely be. Remove all the ads, the glitter and glam, go back straight to human function. It's so exciting and yes there is a nostalgia piece... but there is more. There is just that odd feeling of realness, a lack of purpose or rythmic botting that comes with so much of the internet these days. I think that is why so much of this indie web is made to look and feel retro, it's unattractive to the corporate sponsors, to those who would steal it for their bootlegged agendas. Beautiful.

About six months ago I deleted spotify and started using an ipod clasic gen 4 for all my music needs. I thought I would find it 'nice' to have a dedicated music player. I found it liberating and uplifting. It is an item without excess, all the pieces make sense. It was real, and it made me more real through the utilization. That's what technology was, what it was supposed to be - an augment, a tool which makes life better. Now technology has become the life itself. It is overbearing and demanding. It is streamlined to be full of bloat and fake content. I don't trust any of it. It all seems disgusting.

I would be a liar if I didn't consider myself conspiratorial in nature. I plan to go into that more in the future, give myself the ryme and reason for the occult style tags amiright? But the most distrubing thing about conspiracies is that they rarely break the logical consistency of the world (at least the ones I consider). A lot of it has to do with shadow governments and secret projects. Mind control through the image based attacks upon the human psyche. These are proven real even by the scientific, but what I see goes much deeper. I work with our children each and every day, and I leave my concerns out of what I do. I'm their for them and their childlike problems (and sometimes very adult problems too). However, more and more they come bearing concerns over things which are concerning to me in a way I'm not used to. Not anxiety or depression. Not mom and dad fighting, but deeper and most mysterious things. Dreams with clear symbolism, hallucinations during the middle of the day. I try not to worry about the state of reality, but I can feel it breaking apart. It sits, this spot in the back of my head and I know.

I will go to bed now. I need to wake up early like most days. I just wanted to start my shrine. I hope I'll be back, I do feel a draw towards it.

The essential operation of a mystic, a shaman, a magic healer is actually that of a guide. Typically this is seen as a guide of the dead through to the other side of the underworld, a guide of spirits if you will. But moreso they are a guide of pre-functional language, when the symbolic knowledge of words was known and percieved on a deeper and more spiritual level. The myths of human histories are studied under a multitude of lenses, but rarely are they noted for their uses within a society. A creation myth does not just provide a nice story for where we came from but gives context for what a human is, how this walking ape connects to the land, the sea, and all other creatures. It puts man in his place in the cosmos and makes him real for better or worse. There was a different connection, one that I believe began to change with the bicameral split. Greeks are considered the forefathers of western modern thought, but it is the creation myth of genesis which bears most resemblance here. The garden and man are so misunderstood it is frightening. To eat of the fruit is to become like god, to become rational, to become ones own. Before the bicameral split men were led like oxen by the yokes of gods and perceptions. They were sensory beings like those studied in low contact societys. There is a stark mental shift which occurs to these societies when they come into too much western connection. They forget their sensory based lives, those where proximal awareness and myth rule. They are thrust into a new rational world. But rationality is a false god, i.e. a demon with which we feel immense comfort. It leads to complexity, grandeur and destruction alike - a massive temple which alone can destroy us. The snake planted the seed of rationality, of self perception which led us to this inevitable doom. Through it are the saviors, the son who would remove such a painful death. It speaks to an ongoing cosmic war for the soul of man and the fate of all living things. In our polluted, hulled out factories there still grow seedlings.

Once, before the advent of the our virtual worlds there existed man as a reflection of the great waters. He was born bloody and screaming, but to joyous smiles, quickly clutched to his mothers breast. He knew of danger, war, destruction and sickness. With the droughts, plagues, and famines he would die, but in the gleaming lights of the setting sun he was born anew to the mother - life. Life looked upon her children with a full heart, and for time immemorial this is how they were. Children beneath a watchful gaze, to her they were beholden and to her they were afraid.

But the brother of Life, uncle of the children, Corruption, held a deep grudge for the children that he bore no blood of. No ability to make his own, he brooded and decided to take Life's children for his own. Corruption cast into the children a great dream called desire. It showed them vast riches of jewelery and gold where they would grow fat and never know frustration. They would be made themselves into gods, no longer dependent on Life for